Top Ten Texting Hoofs, ..oops, I mean Goods... no wait, Homes, no..Hoods...Goofs. Yep, Texting Goofs

So, we've all made quite a few blunders while texting, right? You know, texting 'he' instead of 'if' or 'on' instead of 'no' or 'me' instead me 'of.' See, there was one right there (I apparently have a T9 keyboard). But, I've come to the point where I've make so many mistakes that I thought it necessary to share with you my top ten. Some aren't funny but so common that they have to be included. Some are embarrassing; others are ridiculous, but all have been sent my me at least once.

10. suppose/purpose
Okay, not that funny. But hey, that's why it's number ten. I just figured I should bring it to everyone's attention so that it doesn't happen to you. It won't be embarrassing. It will just sound like none-sense and make you feel like an idiot.

9. art/apt
A month or so ago, when asked by a friend where I was, I replied, "I'm looking at the new art."
Yes, it's true; I'm quite the art connoisseur. Should I not have been looking at the new apt in Orem that I was supposed to be moving into that week? No, I was too busy at the Springville Art Museum looking at modern art.

8. pond/roof
Again, "Where are you?" a roommate asks. "I'm on the pond."
Well, that's just great. We were supposed to watch a movie on the roof in about five minutes and you're apparently playing in a canoe on the pond. Who's going to bring the TV up now?

7. mail/Magleby's
As one of my roommates goes down to pick something up from another apartment, I make an additional request. "Could you get some Magebly's while you're down there?" You see, sometimes, when you use a word enough in my phone, it auto-completes it.
In fact, get some P.F. Changs and Tucanos while you're at it. I like variety.

6. Brian/asian
Have you ever had someone send you a random text asking, "Who is this?" If you text that to me, I might first start you out with the clue, "I'm asian."
Next, I'll tell you something like, "I have dark hair," and really narrow it down for you.

5. truck/usual
"Are you driving your car today?" "No, I'm driving the usual,"
which happens to be my car... so,.. yes... I must be driving my car.

4. eating/dating
This has happened more times than it should. "Who are you eating?"
How long have you been eating her?

3. wide awake/wife cycle
Here's a goodie. Chelsie caught me in a lie with this one. She once asked me if I was awake. My answer: "Wife cycle!!!"
Just not wife cycle enough to know what in tarnation I'm texting. Yeah, I was pretty tired.

2. kites/lives
"Wanna hang out?" "Nah, I'm busy. We're playing with lives."
Lives!! Do you understands, LIVES!!! Quit interrupting.

1. weeding/wedding
This one tops them all. Mainly because I can only imagine what was going through Chelsie's head when I texted it to her. I was headed to Spanish Fork and Chels asked me why. My reply: "I'm helping my mom with wedding plants." WHAT?!?... It gets better. "What kind of plants," she asks. "Ferns."
That's right, I want wedding ferns at the reception because it's my special day and if I don't get them, get ready for Groomzilla.

(1/2. clogging/blogging)
If that's not enough, when telling Chelsie that I was making this post, I almost told her I was clogging. That would be quite a sight.